Dear “Sincerely Torn”

Dear Marsha:
I grew up thinking I had the same father as my brothers when I was eleven I found out I don’t last May I went to live with my real father but school arrangements didn’t work out so I moved back with my mom then there was family drama so I moved with my brothers father I have come 2 love my real Dad but don’t get 2 see him that much I tried 2 call his wife to wish her a happy mother’s day but when the answering machine started it broke my heart 2 hear her voice I miss them so much what should I do I love both families

Sincerely Torn


Dear Sincerely Torn:

There should be no reason why you can not LOVE them all! Each family has been a special part of your life, biological or not! With that said, each family should love you and understand what the other family has done for you and take into consideration your feelings and emotions that are tied to each member.

I find that your attempt to call your step mother for Mother’s Day┬áincredibly heart warming. Not many children in your situation would take those measures. Call again. Call every day if you wish. Just call to tell your father and step mother how much you love them and are thinking of them. There is nothing wrong in loving them and wanting to be a part of their lives, after all they are family.

Equally, do not forget to tell the father that you are living with just how much you love and thank him for treating you so well. Not everyone would open their door to a child that is not biologically theirs. He has treated you as his own, and therefore has become your father in many ways. For this you should be very grateful.

Hopefully everyone will act like grown adults and appreciate you and your best of interest.

Don’t think of your situation as a problem, think of yourself as very blessed for that is what you are! You have many people that love you. Don’t be afraid to let them know that you love them too!


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