Dear Marsha,

I am a single mother of 2 kids, both are under the age of 8, both are from different fathers, and both live with me.

Both fathers have regular visitations that they commit to. Only one father pays his child support regularly, the other pays when he can or if I really need extra help.

I use this child support to help me pay my monthly bills, and I count on it each and every week. I do work, but my job is not enough to cover even the basic bills to survive.

My question is, am I in the wrong to take the non paying father back to court for additional child support enforcement when I know he is barely able to make it on his own?

Marrissa G.

Dear Marrissa G.,

Child Support is defined by the Legal Dictionary as:
Main Entry: child sup·port
Function: noun
: payment made for the support of the children of divorced or separated parents while the children are minors or until they reach an age set by the separation agreement or in a court order

Would you go out and purchase a new vehicle or buy a house if you knew you only had half of the money to cover the payments?  No.  So, why would children be any different?

A couple that decides to have children must know that the cost of raising that child will take both incomes.  You reach this agreement knowing and relying on the other parent to help support these costs.

If one parent decides to leave the home, or his/her actions has caused them to be forced out of the home, then he/she should still do their part in raising the child, even if it means to pick up a second job or to do without a little themselves.

In the case of accidental pregnancy, just remember that with God, there are no accidents, and everything happens for a reason and a greater purpose.  If you are going to play around, be prepared to pay the cost.  If an unplanned pregnancy occurs, there is still no reason for either parent to back out and disown or neglect their child and his/her duties to pay for that child.

Sometimes you will hear one parent complain that they do not have the money to pay the amount of support the court has ordered.  This may or may not be the case.  I know from personal experience that a father may say he is unemployed to the courts, yet hold a very high paying under the table job and able to purchase him and his new girlfriend a house, plasma tv, and take weekend trips all across the area.  I firmly believe that if this absent parent were still a part of your household, then he/she would make every effort to work harder to ensure there is proper food on the table, and everyone is taken care of.  So why should it be any different with him/her out of the house? They do not have to live the high life while your child goes to school in worn out hand me downs.

My suggestion would be to feel no guilt at all for taking him back to court to enforce his obligation to pay for a child that he helped bring into this world. He is aware of his negligence to pay his share for that child.  I would have no sympathy whatsoever  for his inabilities to pay.  If there is a will, there is a way!

Know in your heart that you are only doing what is best for your child, and that is all that really matters.

Always,

Marsha