I am sitting here wondering how you could give such great marriage counseling to people when you yourself have been married more than once and had 4 children from at least three different men maybe four and are married to another man that doesnt father any of your children. I guess you could say you have been around the block a few times!!

Hmmmm What do you do if say an accidental pregnancy happens and the mother of the child does not contact the father of the child for say 15 years? And then when she is hurting for money she decides to take that childs father to court and sue him after all these years. I dont think that it is quite fair to leave the father out of the picture for all these years and miss his child grow up and then when the mother is hard press sue him for support once the child is pretty much grown. I think that mother should get a real job to begin with and then maybe a second job to support her child since she never wanted the father in the picture to begin with!!!

Dear Angela,

Thank you for viewing my site and thinking that I have been giving great advice.  Seeing as to how I am not certain as to who you are, or why you are passing judgment on me…allow me to give you a little deeper insight to my life.

You are correct, I have been married 2 previous times. I have 4 children all by 3 different fathers. However, what you do not know is that I was in fact married at the age of 17 before having my first 2 children.  This man became very physically abusive toward not only myself but to the children as well and arrested several times for it.  I soon found courage and escaped that relationship.  He still does not have contact with his children and they do not acknowledge him as “dad” either.  Since then, he has had 2 other failed marriages due to abuse…was it wrong to leave this situation?  I THINK NOT!

My third child was by a man that I had a 3 or 4 month fling with. When he found out I was pregnant, he left the picture quickly.  He did however inform me of his sisters name, and I had that address where his mother and sister lived.  He was a truck driver and probably always on the road, but that was no excuse to never reply to all the letters and photos I had sent the family.  I did try to involve him, but he would say that he was not the father.  I had even wrote him one day telling him that my ex and I had a DNA test done that proved my ex was NOT the father.  I requested this man at this point…nearly 4 years later…to send appropriate paperwork relinquishing his rights as father so that this child could be adopted by another man that would gladly take over the “Dad” role…but this as well as all other letters went unheeded.

I then married a young man that was a friend of my step brothers.  We did have my 4th child at this time.  We were married for 10 years before he decided he wanted to see what else was out there.

I was working as an EMT at 2 full time stations.  I was even Lieutenant at one station.  This was the best job in the world.  I have made so many friends in the medical field here and have gained a great name for my family and I.  I was even taking the paramedic classes to move on up.  I was offered a position as a flight medic once I graduated.  Sadly, that day never came for me.  As I was working an accident on the highway of a tractor trailer that jack knifed…I was the most injured patient taken to the hospital. I told my partner that I was not feeling well…they checked my heart rate and it was 180 bpm or beats per minute.  Once I was at the hospital, they noticed my heart at resting was going down to the 50s.  This is when I was sent to a cardiologist who performed many tests and observations of me.  It turns out that I have Sick Sinus Syndrome.  If you are not familiar with this…it is when the heart will beat too slow one minute then just jump sky high the next minute for no apparent reason but all awhile maintaining a healthy heart pattern.

Within one month from this accident, I had to have a pacemaker put in.  I was only 30 years old.  Even with the pacemaker, I was still having heart palpitations and not feeling “normal”.  Despite the pacemaker, I attempted to go back to work.  I worked for a year and a half longer before my next BIG episode happened.  This is when I was once again taken to the hospital by my co workers in MY ambulance and they decided I had to be taken off of work period.  My cardiologist was there and agreed it was too much stress for me.

This of course forced me to have to file for disability.  As anyone would know, it takes a great while before the disability is approved.

During this time, I had met a really great man.  He lived in Australia, and we met online actually.  We talked for nearly a year before he decided to come visit.  I had gotten to know his parents, friends, and other family before making the decision to meet.  On my 33rd birthday he showed up at the airport.  That was the best gift I could ever have.  We were wed shortly after that, and it has been such a great move on my behalf.  This is when I experienced TRUE LOVE for the first time in my life.  I know now what it is and am happy to share it with others.  My children love him and call him dad.  Even my 3rd son, that never knew his father…loves this man so much that he himself chose to have his name changed to my husbands last name.  Seeing as to how his father NEVER once wrote back to relinquish his fatherly rights…we could not do a formal adoption. This was the first choice of my husbands wishes…but things happen.  Seeing as to how I had never received a letter back from the 3rd sons biological father, we had no idea of his residency or how to locate him.  With this being noted in court, they allowed the legal name change.

I then began drawing my disability checks.  Once I started receiving the checks, I was forced by the courts to turn over child support payment history.  When I was questioned about my 3rd sons father, ALL I had was a name, an old address, his sisters name, and his fathers name.  I did tell them about the school he went to for his cdl’s…but that is all I knew.  I never thought that they would find this man…but it was not in my hands.

I was really saddened when they did find this man, and we both know who we are talking about.  I never had even discussed with his son about his father until this moment when I knew we had to go to court.  I did not want my boy thinking his dad left just because I was pregnant with him.  That would be a blow to any ones head.  His dad was a loser in my book and is still a loser in my boys book for doing such a thing.  He can not say he didn’t ever know he had a son, because during the child support court case, I was questioned through HIS attorney about this child being adopted and I had allegedly made mention that another man was going to or wanting to adopt him…Hmmm…that must have came from all those letter I sent and he never replied too huh?

Trust me, if I were able to work…I WOULD!  This was not done out of spite or any ill intentions.  I was forced to go through with this in order for me to draw my disability.

Now you asked how I gave such great advice…Well I think that answer is rather clear.  It took me 33 years to find the perfect man, and after dealing with losers like this all of my life…I think that makes me MORE than qualified. I have never been a floosy, but life has taken me to several “blocks” as you said.  Does this make me a bad person? I think not. I have learned some very valuable life lessons along the way.

I also give thanks to God for all the blessing he has put in my life. He is the one that should get all the glory. Without him, Who knows where I would be.

Now that you have my address…you can write if you so choose.  I am sorry you have such hard feelings against me.  I have never wronged you or your husband for that matter.  It sometimes helps to get the truth before bashing on something you know nothing of.  His sister, (and we know the similarities between our names), had told me that he did in fact see the baby pictures and knew of the letters as well…so don’t be fooled if he is saying different.

I am glad this could come out in the open. We were actually wondering if and when we would hear from you guys.  I know that you have a 13 year old son , and that your husband, or my ex was in the national guard. That only came out after they found you all in the state you now live in.  Have you discussed with your son that he does have a 1/2 brother in a neighboring state?

I want you to be happy, just as we are.  There is no reason for any hostility or angry tones to anyone.  Sarcasm is dangerous…Please do not post anything else that is deragatory on my site.

Always,

Marsha