Dear Marsha,

I am a grandmother of 11 grandchildren.  I love each and everyone of them. I have recently been accused of favoring one grandchild over all of the others. I do not notice that I do, but everyone is starting to say well if it was —— then you wouldn’t mind, or I’m sure you would buy it for —— etc.

I do have a close bond with ——, but I don’t think that I pay more attention to him then I do to any of the others. He is my oldest grandson though, and I know that I do trust him more then the younger ones. He also grew up in my house for 8 years with his younger sister. I don’t get accused of favoring her though.

I would like to ask how I can show the others that I love them just as much as I love ——? I want them to know that they are all just as special to me as the other one. I don’t want any of my grandbabies feeling left out.

Thanks,

Grandma Jo

Dear Grandma Jo,

It always seems that most parents and/or grandparents do favor one child or another in every family.  Most are like yourselves and do not see this connection until it is pointed out to them by an outsider, or someone that feels left out.  Sometimes it does happen when we are closer to one child or another due to similar interests, living together, looks that resemble one another, oldest, youngest, or any other common similarity between you.

There is however something that we as parents or grandparents can do to change this habit we have unconsciously started.  Here is my plan of guidance.

1. Take a day or weekend and dedicate it to each child individually.  Make that child feel like a king or a queen of the day.  Allow that child to make all of the decisions for the day such as what game you can play together, or what they would like to eat.  You could teach them something, or tell them stories from your past of something you did or used to do at their age.  It does not have to be costly, you can do all of this right from your home.

2. Keep it fair.  Do not stay at home with one child, and go to the local fair with another.  That will cause jealousy and still make someone feel left out.  Make a plan from the start on what you will do with each one.

3. While you are spending your time with each child, get to know their likes and dislikes.  Keep a journal of their favorite foods, drinks, games, colors, etc. Then you can use this list when it comes to their birthdays, Christmas or to alternate use between visits to grandmas on what you cook or plan for the family.

4. Don’t be afraid to ask any of the children if they feel you treat them unfairly.  They may tell you how the feel, and give examples of your behavior that has made them feel this way.  Take notes on that, reassure each child that you love them the same, and explain that you are going to try to be fair from now on.

This should help you to get on the right track of making each child/grandchild feel that grandma loves them each equally.  Before you know it, they will always be wanting to come/go to grandma’s house.

Always,

Marsha

My family and I always go to amusement parks every summer. I like playing the games to win prizes, but I can not win at this game called a rope ladder game.

Do you know about it? Is there a trick to winning at it? Is it even possible to win? I have tried so many times, and have never won. I haven’t even seen anyone win.

Do you have any secrets to help me win the prize?

Rope Ladder Worrier

Dear Rope Ladder Worrier,

I too love amusement parks and festivals, and I am actually familiar with the game in question. The Rope Ladder Game is also referred to as Jacob’s Ladder. During my adventures, I have also witnessed the secret to winning the game as well.

The basic concept you must keep in mind is Balance. I have seen the rope ladder hung from many different angles, from nearly flat against the inflatable surface, to almost a 45* angle. I am not certain if that makes much of a difference or not. To maintain the appropriate balance to win, you must not only keep yourself balanced but the ladder as well. This will take practice.

When standing on the first rung of the ladder, find out where the center sweet spot is to level out the ladder as a whole. This is where you will focus your weight for shifting around.

The key is to make your movements in even motions on opposite sides of each rung. You start off by standing on the bottom rung, and your hands are on each end of the 3rd rung. The next step would be to slowly move your left hand to the 4th rung, and your right foot to the 2nd rung. Then you would move your right hand to the 4th rung, and your left foot to the 2 rung. Remember to shift your body weight as needed for each movement.

Seeing as to how reading directions can be confusing, I have found a video that can better demonstrate what I am talking about.

The Trick To Winning The Rope Ladder Game

If you are really good at keeping your balance, then there is a second option to winning the Rope Ladder Game, and that is to find that centered sweet spot, and walk it all the way up the ladder without using your hands. This is more difficult to accomplish, but here is another video showing a guy achieving this feat backwards! It has poor quality, but I think you will get the idea.

Walking the Rope Ladder Game Backwards and Winning!

Practice and Patience are a virtue.

Always,

Marsha