Dear Marsha,

I am one of 5 kids in our family.  I fall right in the middle of ages. My problem is that I am always getting teased by my older brothers and my youngest sisters. I make great grades in school and I don’t play on the computer like they do all the time. I don’t have anything in common with them and they think I am the outcast. I am in my first year of highschool. I am finding the work harder than before and it takes up a lot of my time. I wish they would take their classes more seriously and leave the game chat alone. They think life is about their success on the stupid games. Am I wrong for wanting to study and make a career for myself? Will they ever see that they need to spend less time on games and focus more time on real studies?

Please help me to stay focused and not let them bother me so much and talk to them about how much time they are spending online.

Focused Fran

Dear Focused Fran,

In todays society, the role of computers seems to be replacing many of the traditional methods of passing time by such as watching television, reading books, writing letters, family board games, and much more.

I would like to congratulate you for staying faithful to your studies.  I am certain that this will pay off in the long run.  You will make it into a fine  college and be successful if you continue to follow this path. 

High school studies are more difficult than you were used to before.  They are preparing you for college life and studies.  You have a lot of writing papers and reading books ahead of you yet.  If you were to stay on the computer playing games like your siblings, then I am afraid you would not be nearly as prepared or focused for your finals.

There is a lot of knowledge that can be learned from the computer, but from what I gather, your brothers and sisters are not taking advantage of the great knowledge it can provide and instead wasting their time on games.  If you sincerely feel they are spending far too much time online, I would suggest you speak to your parents or guardian about it. They should be just as concerned about their childrens grades and well being as you are for them.  Perhaps they can limit the time they spend each day on the computers.  I would hope to think that they would want your brothers and sisters to achieve in life and to make something for themselves.

In the meantime, please allow me to encourage you to remain focused in your studies, and to ignore their words of discouragement.  I would suggest that you not argue with your siblings about the lack of interest in their games.  Try to make small chat with them about what you are studying.  Ask them questions to see if they can help you with the answers.  That alone will make them feel as if they are not as smart as you are if they are unable to answer it.  You need not rub it in their face that they are wrong, just simply smile and walk away.

Always,

Marsha

Dear Gaming Nerd,

I am happy that you have found what you think will be a very interesting and joyful career for you.  It is important for each of us to be happy with our work or jobs if possible, to cut back on the stress.

I am familiar with Jagex and Runescape. Jagex actually stands for JAva Gaming EXperts.  This name came about because they exclusively write their games using the Java language.

If you would like a better look at understanding the Java Language, I would suggest you visit the following site:

http://java.sun.com/docs/books/tutorial/java/index.html

The career path you are looking for is called Video Game Design.  In this area of study, there are several additional directions in which you could go such as Graphic Design/Web Design, Game Art and Design, 3D Modeling, Media Arts and Animation and many others.

Here are a couple of web sites that may help guide you in deciding which path you would like to follow:

http://www.articlesbase.com/careers-articles/video-game-design-careers-where-to-start-423004.html

http://www.gamecareerguide.com/careers/

I think a basic step you could take now to start preparing for your career would be to learn the basic HTML &/or CSS codes.  The following website will help you to work with both for free:

http://www.html.net/

I will now also guide you to a website that offers you to play as you learn.  The following site allows you to build your own game.  This could teach you how to use placement as well as imagination for your gaming desires.

http://www.playcrafter.com/

Lastly, I will lead you to a couple of websites that offer you a place to build your own website for free using the pre designed layouts they have to offer.  Here you can list your progress or show off some of the new things you have learned.

http://www.webs.com/

http://webstarts.com/?lts=GGL+free%20website

Always,

Marsha

Please Help Me Make Up My Mind!!!

I feel like I am going in circles recently. I have had my mother and boyfriend yell at one another. They never have got along. I feel I must choose between them. Mom says that my boyfriend is too much of a negative influence and brings out the worst in me. My boyfriend says that mom is only saying this because I am 20 and moved out and she is still trying to be controlling over me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years.  He is the reason I dropped out of college because I wanted to live with him and we didn’t have the money for me to continue going to college. I still plan on going back and my boyfriend says that he will help pay for my classes even if he has to work 2 jobs. But, it has been a year now and he still works at the same low paying job and not looking for another. I have taken up a job as a waitress just to pay our bills.

My mother is controlling, she told me if I still lived with her, then I couldn’t see my boyfriend anymore. She wants me to get my teaching degree and thats all. I am not supposed to hang out with friends or have any fun. She thinks I should always be studying.

I want to be a teacher, I want a good relationship with my mother, and I want to be loved.

What is your opinion on this matter please?

Longing to Teach

Dear Longing to Teach,

I am going to be totally honest with you here, and hope that you do not get angry with what I have to say.

It sounds to me as if you moved out with your boyfriend as soon as you turned 18 because you could and it was legal.  You fell for all of his “I Love You’s” and the situation made you feel loved and like a true adult living with him. You did not put much thought into this step, you just jumped for it.

Your mother on the other hand was able to see that you were taking a step backwards as an adult and not forwards.  She gives you a hard time because she is your mother and wants what is best for you. She is only trying to steer you in the right direction in life, so that you can succeed as an adult on your own and not have to worry about working 2 or 3 jobs to get you through your financial matters.

You need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend and tell him that you wish to put your career first and foremost, and that you are not happy being a waitress.  DO NOT let anything he says change your mind on putting your career off any longer.  After all, you have already waited a whole year and seen no improvements toward your career. He is going to promise you that he will get a second job now, and help you get into college next semester. DO NOT TRUST THIS! Keep telling yourself if he meant it, then he would have done it a year ago.

I think your next step should be to have a serious chat with your mother and tell her you really wish to continue your schooling.  If it is still possible, then you should consider moving back in with your mother so that you know you will go to college and have someone to support you the whole way through.

You should tell your boyfriend of your plans and if he loves you, and truly loves you, then he will understand why you wish to move back in with your mother and to continue your college degree. He will still be there for you if he really wishes for you to succeed.

As far as your mother’s firmness, I think that if you go back for your teaching degree and show her that you really want this, then she may come around and ease up on you.  If not, then talk to her and tell her that you wish to hang out with some friends for the night and all of your work is done etc. Treat your mother as your best friend for she is always going to be there in life to help you pick up your pieces and put them back together.

Don’t back down from this.  It is more than just going back to college, it is your future, your life.  You must put it first and foremost right now above anything else.

Always,

Marsha