Dear Marsha,

A friend’s small granddaughter just had her tonsils out and she sent a love-gift box (stuffed animal and book) to her…but daughter-in-law and son are withholding it for some reason. ..I have never had in-law problems, so I can’t relate to this…but it does not seem right to me.

What do you think?

Sounding board

Dear Sounding Board,

I would think that there was some sort of family issue amongst the daughter-n-law/son and the grandmother. For a simple surgery such as tonsils to be taken out, it doesn’t seem like withholding gifts would be something suggested by a Dr. or the staff in order to avoid over stimulation of the child.

If this is the case, then it saddens me for 2 reasons.

1. This child could be caught in the center of a dispute that may not have even involved them directly, but the parents can not see past their own anger.

2. After any surgery, children especially, like knowing that family and friends are thinking of them and gifts are or should be welcomed to help cheer them up and allow them to forget about their pain.

Maybe the parents wanted to be the first to give their daughter a gift, but had not yet gotten around to it? If that was the case, then perhaps the parents should have kindly explained so to the grandmother instead of denying her gifts to be happily received.

What ever the reasons were, I hope that it can be resolved shortly for the childs sake if nothing more.

Always,

Marsha

Dear Marsha,

I am a single mother of 2 kids, both are under the age of 8, both are from different fathers, and both live with me.

Both fathers have regular visitations that they commit to. Only one father pays his child support regularly, the other pays when he can or if I really need extra help.

I use this child support to help me pay my monthly bills, and I count on it each and every week. I do work, but my job is not enough to cover even the basic bills to survive.

My question is, am I in the wrong to take the non paying father back to court for additional child support enforcement when I know he is barely able to make it on his own?

Marrissa G.

Dear Marrissa G.,

Child Support is defined by the Legal Dictionary as:
Main Entry: child sup·port
Function: noun
: payment made for the support of the children of divorced or separated parents while the children are minors or until they reach an age set by the separation agreement or in a court order

Would you go out and purchase a new vehicle or buy a house if you knew you only had half of the money to cover the payments?  No.  So, why would children be any different?

A couple that decides to have children must know that the cost of raising that child will take both incomes.  You reach this agreement knowing and relying on the other parent to help support these costs.

If one parent decides to leave the home, or his/her actions has caused them to be forced out of the home, then he/she should still do their part in raising the child, even if it means to pick up a second job or to do without a little themselves.

In the case of accidental pregnancy, just remember that with God, there are no accidents, and everything happens for a reason and a greater purpose.  If you are going to play around, be prepared to pay the cost.  If an unplanned pregnancy occurs, there is still no reason for either parent to back out and disown or neglect their child and his/her duties to pay for that child.

Sometimes you will hear one parent complain that they do not have the money to pay the amount of support the court has ordered.  This may or may not be the case.  I know from personal experience that a father may say he is unemployed to the courts, yet hold a very high paying under the table job and able to purchase him and his new girlfriend a house, plasma tv, and take weekend trips all across the area.  I firmly believe that if this absent parent were still a part of your household, then he/she would make every effort to work harder to ensure there is proper food on the table, and everyone is taken care of.  So why should it be any different with him/her out of the house? They do not have to live the high life while your child goes to school in worn out hand me downs.

My suggestion would be to feel no guilt at all for taking him back to court to enforce his obligation to pay for a child that he helped bring into this world. He is aware of his negligence to pay his share for that child.  I would have no sympathy whatsoever  for his inabilities to pay.  If there is a will, there is a way!

Know in your heart that you are only doing what is best for your child, and that is all that really matters.

Always,

Marsha

We are expecting a baby in December and we have chosen not to have the gender told to us.  My husband and I both agreed on letting it be a surprise.

I was wondering if you or any of your viewers would be willing to help us name the child.  We do not want common or typical names that are currently being used.  We want something that speaks out to us, and is preferably of christian descent.  I know this is a rough task, but if everyone just gave us one or two names for each gender, then I am sure we could come up with something.  I also understand that there are many web sites out there with biblical names listed, but we were wondering what others would choose.

Many Blessings,

Biblical Baby Names

Dear Biblical Baby Names,

Congratulations to you both and thank you so much for such a great honor.  I am certain you will get many responses to help you name your child.  I am tickled to make this post, because I also think it will be fun and interactive for everyone.

I am happiest that you have chosen to give your child biblical names.  These are the trusted names of old, and carry special meaning with each one.

I have compiled a list with 5 of my top choices in each gender.  I am excited to see how many other suggestions you get as well.

Girls

Abigail – Source of Joy – 1 Samuel 27:3; 30:5; 2 Samuel 2:2; 1 Chronicles 2:16,17

Acacia – Thorny Tree – pronounced- A-kay-sha-Exodus 26:15,26; 25:10,13,23,28

Adah – Ornament, Adorned – Genesis 4:19,20,23; 36:2,4

Delilah – Languishing – Judges 16:4, 6, 10, 12, 13, 18

Reaia -God Has Seen – pronounced – Reh-aw-yaw – 1 Chronicles 5:5

Boys

Issac – Laughter – This name is found in numerous parts of the bible.

Isaiah -Salvation Of God – 2 Kings 19:2-20; 20:1-19; 2 Chronicles 26:22; 32:20, 32; Isaiah 1:1; 2:1; 20:2, 3; 37:2-6, 21; 38:1, 4, 21; 39:3, 5, 8

Ezekiel -God Will Strengthen – Book of the Bible

Nahum – Comfort or Consolation – Book of the Bible

Leviticus – Belonging to the Levites – Book of the Bible

Always,

Marsha