Dear Marsha,I am a sixteen year old girl and I have a crush on a seventeen year old boy. There’s been so many explainable things that happened between me and him that I find unbelievable. I don’t really know what to believe. I’ll start with explaining some of these things.
I see him in the hallways ALL the time unintentionally because I notice that he is surprised to be seeing me.
Also there are several yoga classes in my school and the one I’m in is overbooked and it was impossible to sign up to be in that specific class, but he gets in that class.
This one creeps me out. I was joking around with my friends with tarot cards and wrote his name, let’s call him Hayden on the back of my hand and grabbed a card. Seven times in a row I picked up the tarot card the lover. Then I got mad and threw the card and it hit Hayden out of the probably four hundred plus kids in my lunch.
Also over summer vacation I will be going to San Diego to go visit a family friend. Meanwhile, Hayden is going to San Diego as well. This is rather ironic because we both live in New England and San Diego isn’t exactly a common place for people in our city to go for vacation.
I also went to a school event for only members of the music department of my school and Hayden was there because his band got a last minute performance spot.
Also now his twin brothers girlfriend, let’s call her Kayla, is starting to creep me out as well. I saw her every class period in a day.
I went to the bathroom and of course Kayla was right there.
I go to my locker and Kayla’s at her locker a set of lockers down. This goes for all four times I went to my locker.
I went to the library with one of my classes and Kayla was just standing there at the librarians table staring at me all class creating an awkward situation. She finally stopped about halfway through the class when she had to go.
Also she ran into me head on in the hall way and apologized to me by name. Let’s just say my name’s Callie. She said, “Oh my gosh I am so so sorry, Callie. I didn’t mean to.” This is rather creepy due to the fact that I had only one class with Kayla and it was last year for one day then she switched out long before anyone even got to know each other’s names.
I honestly have no clue how Kayla knows my name at all, I only know her name because my older brother is friends with her boyfriend, though I’m positive my name never popped up in any conversations between the two. This is because my brother respects my space and doesn’t mention me without asking me first.
I have absolutely no clue what to do and I’m debating on just ignoring Hayden until June when he graduates. Though if I do that it still won’t solve my problem with Kayla, seeing she’s only a junior and won’t be graduating. I was hoping you could help me with any advise at all.
Thank you for your time and help,
Callie
Dear Callie,
There certainly has been a lot of circumstances going on around you to make you feel confused or overwhelmed. I think anyone in your shoes would feel the way you do about too many “coincidences” occurring around one particular individual. Some may try to justify these occurrences as sheer coincidences that perhaps happened all along and were never noticed by you until you started to have a crush on this boy, however, others would call it fate!
Why would you ignore Hayden if you liked him? If you brush him off until he graduates, then you may have blown your chance to get to know him better. You may wonder all of your life if this was the guy that you were meant to be with because of all of the uncanny circumstances taking place around him.
If you are not comfortable talking to Hayden himself, then why not start with talking to Kayla? If she is his brothers girlfriend, then maybe she has a little insight to Hayden and his likes, dislikes, etc. and especially when it comes to a female that may have caught his eye.
Make friendly chats with Kayla. Try to speak to her whenever she is around. Then feel free to ask her questions about Hayden. Tell her of the events that have occurred recently and how ironic you find it to be. Get her take on the situation and see if she is aware of anything.
If you are even more bold, then talk to Hayden directly. You could ask him how he was able to get into your yoga class when no one else is. Ask him about his trip to San Diego and question what parts he plans to go to. If it is near where you plan to be, tell him that it would be great if the two of you could meet up sometime to have lunch or dinner together. Tell him it would make you miss home a little less to have a familiar face around.
Do not be discouraged no matter what direction the outcome may turn out to be. Â If you talk to him and he really does like you, then be happy that you were bold enough to make the choice to talk to him directly. Â If it turns out that he has a girlfriend, or a crush on someone else, then still be happy that you opened yourself up to a friendship with him that may not have been there had you stepped back and ignored him.
By talking to him it seems as if there is nothing to lose, but there could be so much to gain from it!
Always,
Marsha
Thanks for the advice Marsha. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I guess I’ll be talking to Kayla tomorrow. Thanks alot