Dear Marsha,
For the past 4 months I’ve had the biggest crush I’ve ever had on one of my friends. A couple of months ago, I gathered up the courage I needed to tell him how I feel, but he replied that he only liked me as a friend. I’ve tried getting over it, but I just can’t, and it’s driving me crazy!! I keep wishing, hoping and praying that he’ll ask me out, even though I know that he won’t. I’ve thought about asking him out, and even come close to actually doing it a few times, but I’m scared, since he knows that I know that he doesn’t feel the same way about me. But at the same time, something is telling me that I won’t be able to get this out of my system unless I give it a shot. But considering it took me 4 hours of staring at my phone, saving drafts of text messages and cancelling sent ones just to tell him that I like him, I don’t think I have the courage to ask him out, even just as friends. What should I do??
-Loveless
Dear Loveless,
The most important thing right now is that you do not push yourself on him. Most people that say they wish to be friends, mean that they do not have any feelings for you other than that of a sister/brother/or friendship kind of feeling. Being too persistent may drive away that friendship feeling he currently has for you.
I am not going to say that this person will not ever change their mind and/or feelings toward you into something more, because that has happened in several relationships, but try not to get your hopes up for this.
A friendship is a great place to start a true and lasting relationship. Try to set your mind on the fact that this guy wishes to be your friend only. Then you can start doing things as friends, such as going to the mall, the theater, a local hang out, or even over to each others home for supper and a movie/swim, etc.
By spending time together, you are getting to know each other a lot more and that in return builds a stronger friendship. A friendship can last forever where boyfriends and girlfriends come and go.
Try not to be too disappointed though if he someday finds a girlfriend that he wants you to meet. Stay strong and happy for him. If they do not work out, it very well may be you that he comes to for comfort. Try to remain positive and not say bad things about the ex girlfriend. Try to always be his shoulder of support instead. One day he will see how much of a friend he has in you and how much love you have for him.
My last bit of advice is not to close other doors because of this guy either. If another guy shows interest in you, it may be worth giving him a try. If you push him away because of your feelings for this first guy, then maybe you will miss your chance at the true love you are seeking.
Always,
Marsha
Hey Loveless.. I’d like to say, Listen to Marsha’s Advice here. I’m a personal friend of hers and i was in the exact same problem as you. maybe a little worse but still. I asked Marsha for help and i got pages of it!.. Now it didn’t exactly end how i wanted it to.. But worked out better thanks to Marsha’s advice. But on the way to been the best of friends.. it might work out for you!.. Good luck and hope it all works out.
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