Dear AlwaysMarsha…
I’m 14 and starting to hit that age when I think about well sex… I don’t intend on starting until the legal age of 16, but I’m worrying about it now…
I’m just worried that I do something wrong with her… or I say something wrong… I don’t want to mess things up… I’m worried about asking a girl and that sort of thing.
I know its an awkward question and a short one, but I really need some help.
Regards,
Teenage Worries
Dear Teenage Worries,
Please know that to have sex or to make love is a very strong commitment to your partner and should not ever be taken lightly. Sex is to be shared between 2 people that truly love one another and as the Bible teaches, that are Wed or married to one another.
Just because 16 may be considered a consenting age to have sex, does not mean that you have to have, or even should have sex at that age. Sex should not be looked upon as an experiment to see if you like it or not, nor should it be thought of as something you must do with every girlfriend that comes and goes. There are many cons to having sex, especially at a young age.
Teen sex can be physically and mentally harmful. Let us say for a moment that you did find the girl that you thought you loved and you chose to give yourself to her. What would happen if you find out that they have given you an STD or Sexually Transmitted Disease? How would you feel if your partner became pregnant? What would you do if this person broke up with you after you gave your virginity to them? All of the above questions could cause a form of mental depression and or physical impairments.
Abstinence is an honorable way of saving yourself for the one special gal that you choose to be with for the rest of your life. Once you give yourself away, you can never get it back. More and more teens in todays society are choosing to remain abstinent.
There are many great websites that offer more detailed information about why you should remain abstinent and offer ways of being intimate without having sex. I think you should read the following link about todays teen sex statistics.
http://www.heritage.org/research/abstinence/bg1533.cfm
If I were you, I would worry about how my girlfriend would think of me if I did try to have sex with her instead of appreciating and respecting her. I would want to take my time in building the relationship to make it as strong as possible without the sex. Lasting relationships derive from solid friendships.
If you choose not to be abstinent and to go on with sexual relations, then when the time comes, you will know it. There is not a guide of “How To’s” or “When to’s” to follow. It will be natural, it will be mutually consensual, and it will be filled with love and respect toward your partner.
Always,
Marsha
