Dear Marsha,
2 Years ago, my ex and I parted ways. It was tough, but we both went on with our separate lives. 2 weeks ago we bumped into each other at a pet store. He asked for my cell number and I gave it to him thinking it wouldn’t be anything more than just catching up. We talked at this store for what seemed like an hour or longer. We seemed to just pick up from where we left off as if nothing ever happened between us.
My family and friends think I am crazy for giving him my number and wanting to regain connections. They tell me that he is of my past and I should let him go. On the other hand they say it is my choice and I have to be the one to make decisions for myself. Why are they so contradicting? Why do they care who I talk to?
Must Closed Doors Be Locked?
Dear Must Closed Doors Be Locked,
The most common saying that comes to mind is “An Ex Is An Ex For A Reason”
Without knowing the circumstances that caused the two of you to part ways 2 years ago, I would have to say that your family is simply giving you their advice because they care about your feelings and do not wish for you to get hurt or tangled into a situation that they feel you may not be happy in. They may sound contradicting at times because they know ultimately it is your decision no matter what their personal thoughts and/or feelings may be. They try to coax you in a direction they see best, yet respecting you enough to make your own decisions.
If you are planning on keeping in touch with this man, then please know that to a man, as long as there is contact between the two of you, then he feels that he has a wedge to keep his foot in the door so to speak, or a chance of taking this further.
If you are comfortable with the possibility of it going further you should first try to recap exactly what it was or why it was he became your “Ex” in the first place. Write down every detail on a piece of paper along with a list of the pros or things you liked about this partner, and a list of cons or things you did not like about this partner. If the pros out weigh the cons, and the cons were not detrimental to your emotional well being or physical well being, then it may be worth giving him another try if you are leaning toward that direction.
You have to be in total control of this situation right from the start. If you are skeptical in any way, then perhaps leaving it at a friendship would be the best route to go. If you do choose to pursue a relationship once again, you must be self prepared of the possibility that the same reasons you split up the first time could cause you to split up again. Are you ready to take those chances?
Always,
Marsha
