Dear Marsha,
I’ve been waiting for my fiance in Egypt for over 2 years now, and now it’s getting closer to the time for him to come here to the USA with me, and my family doesn’t want to hear his name or anything about him.
It makes me frustrated cause he is the center of my life right now, and at times I want to share things with people about him or about what he has done recently etc.
I’ve come to the part where, when he does get here, for all the times people didn’t encourage me to wait for him nor did they want to hear anything of his name, it just makes me want to take him around all these people and have my say in the end, that they were wrong about him, and he is here. But yet another part of me, just wants to do our thing and wait awhile before going around anybody, saying, this is our time.
I felt all these years, I only had a couple of people supporting me through this process, but I feel in the end everybody will want to listen, but I won’t have anything to say.
Is this right? How should I handle this?
Thanks in advance Marsha,
Ashley
Dear Ashley,
I was stunned to read that your own family members did not want to hear anything of your fiance’s name. They should respect your decisions to marry him, and be supportive all the way. Unless they have sound reasons for disliking him, or he himself has done something to cause them to dislike him, then these family members have no justifications for their behavior.
Perhaps these family members feel they are doing right by not allowing you to get your hopes up of this mans arrival from Egypt. They themselves are not as close to him as you are, and are being skeptical of his arrival. I still think they are going about it the wrong way. To hide or to sweep something under the rug so to speak, is not solving anything. They should be more open and direct with you by having a heart to heart chat. If they took time to listen to what you have to say about him, then maybe they would be a little more relaxed and open about the situation.
My suggestion to you is to remain true to yourself. When your fiance arrives to be with you after these past couple of years, do not go out of your way to call or visit these family members just to say “I told you so”. If you were to take him around and flaunt him off, they would more than likely still be negative in saying that the both of you would not work out. They say that silence is golden. If you focus your attention on your fiance, and only attend scheduled family events, then they will be able to see how happy the both of you are.
I also feel that taking your fiance around these negative minded family members may create undue stress for your you both. Make it your goal to keep his appearance positive, and allow him to be thankful for his move to the USA.
Always,
Marsha
