Regretful
Dear Marsha,
I have cheated on my spouse a few months back and I need to know if I should tell my secret or keep it to myself. If I tell, then how do you suppose I bring it up?
Regretful
Dear Regretful,
I can tell you have guilt. I understand your confusion of wanting to “come clean” so to speak.
In order for you to do what is right in your situation, you must weigh the pro’s and con’s of both factors.
If you tell your spouse, how would he/she react? Are you willing to face the consequences if they take the news poorly? Even if it means leaving you?
On the other hand, there is “Letting Sleeping Dogs Lie” so to speak. If you do not tell her, you must ask yourself if there is any chance anyone could ever leak this information to your spouse? Is there any chance they can piece it together themselves? If not, then sometimes what we don’t know, can’t or won’t hurt us. Can you live with not telling them the truth? Would the guilt of not opening up bring you down?
I would suggest that if you decide to tell your spouse that you have had an affair, that you do so in a way to let them know just how remorseful you truly are. Try a very special date. Do extra special things for them all day. You will know when the time is right. Be certain to look them into the eyes, and do not be afraid to show emotion. If you feel a tear starting to shed, let it.
Most importantly DO NOT blame this affair on them or because of them. This is not their fault and it is Your Confession!
Lastly, I would like to ask you to put yourself into their position. Think of your situation and figure out if and/or how you would like to be told. This could make things go smoother for you in deciding what to do.
Always,
Marsha